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HIM
The dress arrived
In a bag the size of a sandwich
I held it up
I said this is a napkin
She said it’s rayon
I said that’s what I said
$29.97
Free shipping
Eleven hours from order to door
Thursday I opened a spreadsheet
She said what are you doing
I said nothing
I titled it DRESS
Cost per wear
The only honest metric in a closet
The silk one from 2019: two wears, $340
That’s $170 a wear
The wedding one: one wear, $580
The good one: $420
she calls it the good one
she has never worn it
Cost per wear undefined
You cannot divide by zero
Week three
The napkin had been worn nine times
$3.33 a wear
Trending toward pocket change
I did not report this
Week five
Twelve wears
To the grocery store
To the yard
To the thing at her sister’s
Twice in a row, which I noticed and did not mention
$2.49
I went looking for the failure point
Rayon at that price has a half life
Sixty wears, maybe eighty
Then a seam goes and it’s over
Saturday she came down in it
Coffee outside
I said you should get another one
She said I already did
She said navy came Tuesday
I asked why she never wears the good one
She said because it’s good
She said the same thing you do with the wine
I closed the spreadsheet
Monday she asked me to zip her
The good one
Tags still on the floor after
She said don’t
I said don’t what
She said don’t do the math on this one
I didn’t
I thought about it in the car
But I didn’t
HER
He didn’t say anything when it arrived
That’s how I knew
$29.97
It came in a bag you could mail flat
He held it up by one strap and looked at it the way you’d look at a receipt
He said it’s fine
He never says fine
Thursday he was at the kitchen table with the laptop turned slightly away
I said what are you doing
He said nothing
The nothing had columns
He does this
He gets quiet and then eleven days later he knows something about rayon
Week two
I wore it to the grocery store
He said you’re wearing that to the store
I said yes
He wrote something down after I left
Week three
he brought it up at dinner
He said do you know what the silk one costs per wear
I said no
He said one hundred and seventy dollars
I said okay
He said you wore it twice
I said I know
He said in 2019
He said it like he was breaking news to me
About my own closet
I asked if he had a number for the yellow one
He did
He had it immediately
He didn’t have to look
Saturday I took my coffee outside
Not doing anything
Just sitting outside in a dress
I could see him through the window at the table
He was watching me
He wasn’t typing
He came out and said you should get another one
I said navy came Tuesday
He said Tuesday
I said Tuesday
He sat down
He said huh
Later he asked why I never wear the good one
I said because it’s good
I said it’s the same thing you do with the wine
He didn’t say anything for a second
Then he said that’s not the same
Then he stopped
Because it is
He closed the laptop
He’s never told me what was in it
I know it said $2.49
I know because he can’t help himself
He said it in the car three days later
Out of nowhere
Like he’d been holding it
The good one is still upstairs
Tags on
He’s never once mentioned it
That’s the part I love him for
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